{"id":25189,"date":"2022-06-17T08:32:17","date_gmt":"2022-06-17T12:32:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.wyliecomm.com\/?p=25189"},"modified":"2024-01-18T10:53:40","modified_gmt":"2024-01-18T14:53:40","slug":"press-release-structure-examples","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.wyliecomm.com\/2022\/06\/press-release-structure-examples\/","title":{"rendered":"What\u2019s the best news release structure?"},"content":{"rendered":"<h2>Federal Home Loan Bank nails the feature<\/h2>\n<p>It was a good story: More than 1,000 New Englanders would soon have safe, decent, affordable places to live, thanks to the Federal Home Loan Bank of Boston\u2019s Affordable Housing Program.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_30175\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-30175\" style=\"width: 600px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"30175\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.wyliecomm.com\/2022\/06\/press-release-structure-examples\/press-release-structure-examples-2\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/www.wyliecomm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/06\/press-release-structure-examples.png\" data-orig-size=\"450,300\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"press-release-structure-examples\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Home, sweet home&lt;\/strong&gt; Mark Zelermyer turns a stodgy bank report into a friendly, fascinating feature-style story. &lt;a href=&quot;https:\/\/www.shutterstock.com\/image-photo\/house-keys-isolated-on-white-background-1698932965&quot; rel=&quot;noopener&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;&lt;em&gt;Image by Yeti studio&lt;\/em&gt;&lt;\/a&gt;&lt;\/p&gt;\n\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/www.wyliecomm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/06\/press-release-structure-examples-300x200.png\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/www.wyliecomm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/06\/press-release-structure-examples.png\" tabindex=\"0\" role=\"button\" data-src=\"https:\/\/www.wyliecomm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/06\/press-release-structure-examples.png\" alt=\"Press release structure examples\" title=\"Press release structure examples\" width=\"450\" height=\"300\" class=\"size-full wp-image-30175 lazyload\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/www.wyliecomm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/06\/press-release-structure-examples.png 450w, https:\/\/www.wyliecomm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/06\/press-release-structure-examples-300x200.png 300w\" data-sizes=\"(max-width: 450px) 100vw, 450px\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 450px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 450\/300;\" \/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"30175\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.wyliecomm.com\/2022\/06\/press-release-structure-examples\/press-release-structure-examples-2\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/www.wyliecomm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/06\/press-release-structure-examples.png\" data-orig-size=\"450,300\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"press-release-structure-examples\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Home, sweet home&lt;\/strong&gt; Mark Zelermyer turns a stodgy bank report into a friendly, fascinating feature-style story. &lt;a href=&quot;https:\/\/www.shutterstock.com\/image-photo\/house-keys-isolated-on-white-background-1698932965&quot; rel=&quot;noopener&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;&lt;em&gt;Image by Yeti studio&lt;\/em&gt;&lt;\/a&gt;&lt;\/p&gt;\n\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/www.wyliecomm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/06\/press-release-structure-examples-300x200.png\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/www.wyliecomm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/06\/press-release-structure-examples.png\" tabindex=\"0\" role=\"button\" src=\"https:\/\/www.wyliecomm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/06\/press-release-structure-examples.png\" alt=\"Press release structure examples\" title=\"Press release structure examples\" width=\"450\" height=\"300\" class=\"size-full wp-image-30175\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.wyliecomm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/06\/press-release-structure-examples.png 450w, https:\/\/www.wyliecomm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/06\/press-release-structure-examples-300x200.png 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 450px) 100vw, 450px\" \/><\/noscript><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-30175\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><strong>Home, sweet home<\/strong> Mark Zelermyer turns a stodgy bank report into a friendly, fascinating feature-style story. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shutterstock.com\/image-photo\/wooden-geometric-shapes-isolated-on-white-139198661\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"><em>Image by Laborant<\/em><\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>But PR convention demands that we reduce good stories to hierarchical blurtations of fact. And that\u2019s what Mark Zelermyer, the bank\u2019s vice president and director of corporate communications, did with the first draft of his news release covering the story.<\/p>\n<p>But by the end of my <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wyliecomm.com\/corporate-communications-training\/corporate-communication-training-programs\/pr-writing-workshops\/\"><strong>NOT Your Father\u2019s News Release Master Class<\/strong><\/a>, Mark had totally rewritten his release, taking the story from blah to brilliant. What can you learn from his before and after?<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.wyliecomm.com\/2022\/07\/how-to-organize-content\/\">Get a refresher on the feature-style structure.<\/a><\/p>\n<h3>1. Headline and deck<\/h3>\n<p>Mark started out focusing on \u201cus and our stuff\u201d:<\/p>\n<h5>FHLB BOSTON AWARDS $30.3 MILLION FOR AFFORDABLE HOUSING THROUGHOUT NEW ENGLAND<\/h5>\n<h6>48 Initiatives Will Result in More Than 1,000 Units in Six States<\/h6>\n<p>But his rewrite focuses on the impact, not on the event, of the program.<\/p>\n<h5>MORE THAN 1,000 NEW ENGLANDERS TO GAIN AFFORDABLE HOUSING<\/h5>\n<h6>Federal Home Loan Bank of Boston Awards $30.3 Million to 48 Projects<\/h6>\n<h3>2. Lead<\/h3>\n<p>In his first draft, Mark crams all of the W\u2019s into a fact pack lead:<\/p>\n<div class=\"excerptbox\" style=\"border:1px solid black;\">The Federal Home Loan Bank of Boston awarded $30.3 million to support 48 affordable housing initiatives in the six New England states. Of this amount, $14.2 million was awarded as Affordable Housing Program grants and subsidies, with the balance coming as subsidized advances, or loans. The funds were awarded through member financial institutions to projects that will create or preserve 1,004 units of affordable rental and ownership housing for households earning at or below 80 percent of area median income.<\/div>\n<p>The second version shows instead of tells, focusing on specific details about the program\u2019s outcomes. That pulls readers into the story, and it communicates better than a wall of abstraction. Plus, at 24 words, it creates a bridge into the story instead of an obstacle to reading:<\/p>\n<div class=\"excerptbox\" style=\"border:1px solid black;\">A shoe factory turned into apartments for low-income families. Homes with onsite medical care for brain-injury survivors. Flats for young adults leaving foster care.<\/div>\n<h3>3. Nut graph<\/h3>\n<p>Mark didn\u2019t write a nut graph for his traditional news release, because inverted pyramids don\u2019t have nut graphs. But in his revision, Mark puts the story into a nutshell in a short nut graph:<\/p>\n<div class=\"excerptbox\" style=\"border:1px solid black;\">These are some of the 1,004 households who will move into safe, decent housing thanks to the Federal Home Loan Bank of Boston\u2019s Affordable Housing Program.<\/div>\n<h3>4. Background section<\/h3>\n<p>In the first draft, Mark gives some context in the quote, then shares perhaps more background information than anyone who doesn\u2019t work at the bank cares to know about how the program works:<\/p>\n<div class=\"excerptbox\" style=\"border:1px solid black;\">\u201cAvailability of affordable housing remains a major issue here in New England, and partnerships like these help provide real solutions,\u201d said Edward A. Hjerpe III, the Bank\u2019s president and chief executive officer. \u201cThese initiatives will not only give more families safe, decent, and affordable homes, but they will also create jobs and boost economic development throughout the region.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>AHP funds are used to help pay construction, acquisition, or rehabilitation costs. Member financial institutions work with local developers to apply for AHP funding, which is awarded through a competitive scoring process.<\/p><\/div>\n<p>In the second version, Mark streamlines the \u201chow it works\u201d section into a short paragraph, then follows up with the context in a more manageable quote:<\/p>\n<div class=\"excerptbox\" style=\"border:1px solid black;\">FHLB Boston awarded more than $30 million to 48 projects for low- and very-low income households. The program is funded each year with 10 percent of the Bank\u2019s net income.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cInvesting in affordable housing does more than provide homes,\u201d said Edward A. Hjerpe III, the Bank\u2019s president and chief executive officer. \u201cIt creates jobs and boosts the economy across our region.\u201d<\/p><\/div>\n<h3>5. Body<\/h3>\n<p>The juicy details are buried in the body of Mark\u2019s first version:<\/p>\n<div class=\"excerptbox\" style=\"border:1px solid black;\">Funds awarded in the 2012 round, which range from $25,000 to $4.6 million per project, will support a wide range of initiatives, including:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Habitat for Humanity energy-efficient ownership homes.<\/li>\n<li>Supportive housing for 18- to 22-year-olds after they leave foster care. All units will be targeted to individuals earning below 30 percent of the area median income.<\/li>\n<li>Housing with on-site health care and mental health services for survivors of brain injury and related cognitive disorders.<\/li>\n<li>Rehabilitation of a former shoe factory mill building into 42 rental units for low-and very low-income households.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p>The following communities will benefit from FHLB Boston AHP funds:<\/p>\n<div class=\"excerptbox\" style=\"border:1px solid black;\">\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Connecticut:<\/strong> Bloomfield, Bridgeport, Niantic, and Stamford.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Maine:<\/strong> Bangor, Brunswick, Dover Foxcroft, Ellsworth, and Houlton.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Massachusetts:<\/strong> Acton, Amherst, Boston, Chelsea, Danvers, Falmouth, Florence, Gilbertville, Haydenville, Lawrence, Lowell, Lynn, New Bedford, Orleans, Rockport, Salem, Turners Falls, and West Tisbury.<\/li>\n<li><strong>New Hampshire:<\/strong> Concord, Dover, Franklin, Marlborough, Newport, and Wolfeboro.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Rhode Island:<\/strong> Coventry, Cumberland, East Greenwich, Newport, Pawtucket, Providence, Richmond, and Warwick.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Vermont:<\/strong> Burlington, Hancock, Manchester Center, Rutland, and Vergennes.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p>The body in the revision covers just the facts of importance to people \u2014 and, OK, Google \u2014 who may be seeking information about housing in their own communities:<\/p>\n<div class=\"excerptbox\" style=\"border:1px solid black;\">This year\u2019s awards range from $25,000 to $4.6 million per project. Funds are awarded through member banks for projects in the following cities and towns:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Connecticut:<\/strong> Bloomfield, Bridgeport, Niantic, and Stamford.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Maine:<\/strong> Bangor, Brunswick, Dover Foxcroft, Ellsworth, and Houlton.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Massachusetts:<\/strong> Acton, Amherst, Boston, Chelsea, Danvers, Falmouth, Florence, Gilbertville, Haydenville, Lawrence, Lowell, Lynn, New Bedford, Orleans, Rockport, Salem, Turners Falls, and West Tisbury.<\/li>\n<li><strong>New Hampshire:<\/strong> Concord, Dover, Franklin, Marlborough, Newport, and Wolfeboro.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Rhode Island:<\/strong> Coventry, Cumberland, East Greenwich, Newport, Pawtucket, Providence, Richmond, and Warwick.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Vermont:<\/strong> Burlington, Hancock, Manchester Center, Rutland, and Vergennes.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<h3>6. Wrapup<\/h3>\n<p>Mark ends with a call to action in each version:<\/p>\n<div class=\"excerptbox\" style=\"border:1px solid black;\">For details on each initiative, please visit <a href=\"https:\/\/www.prnewswire.com\/news-releases\/fhlb-boston-awards-303-million-for-affordable-housing-throughout-new-england-188247701.html\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\">www.fhlbboston.com\/ahp<\/a>.<\/div>\n<p><strong>But wait! There\u2019s more \u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>In addition to making his story more compelling, Mark also make it more than 30% more readable. To do so, he:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Slashed the length of the lead paragraph by 70%<\/li>\n<li>Cut word count by 37%<\/li>\n<li>Streamlined sentences by 25%<\/li>\n<li>Reduced passive voice by 77 percentage points<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>It\u2019s no surprise that Mark suggested we change the name of our PR-writing Master Class to \u201cThe News Release Makeover.\u201d<\/p>\n<div id='MMC-Feature' class='widgets_on_page wop_tiny1  wop_small1  wop_medium1  wop_large1  wop_wide1'>\n\t\t\t<ul><li id=\"custom_html-83\" class=\"widget_text widget widget_custom_html\"><div class=\"textwidget custom-html-widget\"><a title=\"Feature-writing workshop, a mini master class\" href=\"https:\/\/www.wyliecomm.com\/corporate-communications-training\/mini-master-classes-home\/feature-writing-workshop\/\" target=\"\" rel=\"noopener\"><img decoding=\"async\" data-src=\"https:\/\/www.wyliecomm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/writing-structure-training-mmc.png\" alt=\"Feature-writing workshop, a mini master class\" 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class=\"img-max\"><\/noscript><\/a><h3>Draw readers in with the best structure<\/h3>\r\n\t\r\n<p>Writers say, \u201cWe use the inverted pyramid because readers stop reading after the first paragraph.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\t\r\n<p>But in new research, readers say, \u201cWe stop reading after the first paragraph because you use the inverted pyramid.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\t\r\n<p>Learn a structure that\u2019s been proven in the lab to outperform the inverted pyramid at our <a title=\"Feature-writing workshop, a mini master class\" href=\"https:\/\/www.wyliecomm.com\/corporate-communications-training\/mini-master-classes-home\/feature-writing-workshop\/\" target=\"\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong>feature-writing workshop<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<div class=\"btn btn--depth\" style=\"text-align: center;  margin: 10px 0 20px; width:100%;\"><a id=\"btnTT\" style=\"\" title=\"BOOK NOW\" 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-->\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Federal Home Loan Bank nails the feature<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":30175,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[298],"tags":[12950,357,263],"class_list":{"0":"post-25189","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-feature-structure","8":"tag-feature-srtucture","9":"tag-lead","10":"tag-nut-graph","11":"entry"},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v23.4 (Yoast SEO v23.6) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Model this 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